Lifering’s e-mail groups are active, thriving communities of people who use them as strong sources of sobriety support, and many members often post remarkably written sources of inspiration, hope and encouragement that many other group members call “Keepers” – posts that they save for themselves so they can go back and look at them as often as they like.
We here at LifeRing like sharing these posts, with the authors’ permission, on our blog so that everyone can enjoy them as much as our group members do.
This month’s post is contributed by group member Dennis M., who touches on a concept many of us discover somewhere in early recovery, sometimes much to our chagrin: Life doesn’t stop just because we got clean and sober (aka “The definition of SOBER: Son of a bitch, everything’s real!):
I’ve been thinking, and that can be a challenging task for me.
I had a tough day at work yesterday (way too much uncomfortable, guarded face-to-face social interaction) and then this morning at home I had some plumbing and cable problems and was pissed that so many annoying things keep happening even though I have been on my best sober behavior for some time now. WTF?
I can be shallow and self-absorbed sometimes and this morning I was all that and more. Then I started thinking…. who the hell am I to think that life will magically reform itself just because I have quit drinking and using? I am not the center around which all things revolve. As it turns out, my life has gotten easier, my skin fits better but not because the world is doing me a favor because I am “special”. It’s because I can deal with most problems effectively when sober. And my problems are teeny tiny, real small stuff compared to so many.
I am not special. I am sober. I can play the hand I’m dealt without too much complaint. Being sober has made that possible. And that is way too important to forget.
It has not, however, changed the way the world spins nor have I undergone some kind of personality metamorphosis. I can still be selfish and ungrateful. I’m not special, I’m human. But, I don’t drink or drug. And, for me, that was and remains the goal.