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Two Things I’ve Learned

By The Chief | December 8, 1998

By Jennifer S. <If you wait around until you “feel better” better before you stop drinking, you are probably going to have a long, painful wait. – R.> Very true. I wasted two years waiting to “feel better.” I thought if I just waited until my marriage was better, until we had money, until I…

To Get To Know Me

By The Chief | December 7, 1998

By Jennifer S. <One of the things that came up this week at my counselor’s was the fact that I am trying to get away from myself. – D.> This came up for me several times. I was told, “The problem with trying to get away from yourself is, no matter where you go, there…

Straight to Blackout

By The Chief | November 21, 1998

By Steve C. I remember when I was around 19 or 20, I almost beat the hell out of my girlfriend’s father. I broke a few dishes, yelled and screamed at him, and finally, after he called the cops, I split. After about a year of sneaking around behind his back with his daughter, he…

That “One Last Binge”

By The Chief | November 17, 1998

By Diane J. <Why do I keep thinking that I have a binge coming up? Why do I feel I deserve “one last binge”….? I’m actually looking forward to it. Not all the time but it does enter my mind occasionally. Yesterday was the worst so far. I was determined to get beer. On one…

Sobriety Has Its Own Momentum

By The Chief | November 5, 1998

By Diane J. <I’ve come to the realization that this alcoholism is something that will never go away. There will never be a day when I’ll “get better”.- M.> I’m glad you posted. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else either, absolutely not — but since you and I and others on this list seem…

Those Old Triggers

By The Chief | October 29, 1998

By Laura L. < I had a vision yesterday of a quiet afternoon in a quiet bar, relaxing and sipping a couple of vodka tonics and flipping through a magazine with the television going quietly in the background and occasionally chatting with the bartender. – D. > Yeah, sitting around at Borders bookstore with a…

Proud to Say It

By The Chief | October 21, 1998

By Marianne H. There is absolutely no shame in being a sober alcoholic. On the contrary, it’s something to be very, very proud of. At first I, too, didn’t want to tell anybody. Looking back, I think it was because I was afraid that if others knew that *I* knew I was alcoholic, I would…

I Recognize My Mind Games

By The Chief | October 10, 1998

By Steve C. I was about 9 months sober, in June of 1998, when my Dad moved in with my family because of his Lou Gehrig’s disease progression. He drinks nothing without alcohol in it, which means I keep it around the house now. He can’t move his hands, can’t walk, and is beginning to…

365 Attaboys

By The Chief | September 21, 1998

by Steve C. Posting to “fish for attaboys” on his first sobriety anniversary, Steve recites a long list of things he hasn’t experienced for 365 days — no traffic tickets, no meaningless apologies, no rages at the family, no mysterious ATM withdrawal slips … Steve out of San Jose, the consummate lurker here. I just…

You Are Not a Failure

By The Chief | September 10, 1998

By De W. Personal experience … Sober 10 years, thought it would be absolutely no problem. Put myself in a very challenging situation, lapsed for 2 years while in that situation. Got my self out (actually not by choice, but it worked out) and now have 2 years again. What didn’t work for me was…