Just in time for National ADHD Awareness Month (U.S.), we’re pleased to announce a new online Focus Meeting which just started on Sunday 10/19 called SOAR (Sober & Overcoming ADHD in Recovery).

We conducted a Q&A with the meeting’s convenor, Billy S., who was kind enough to share about himself and his own journey through ADHD and substance use, and not only what led him to recovery, but to LifeRing and his desire to start this meeting:

How did you get started with LifeRing?

I checked myself into rehab in April (marking the first time I've ever gotten sober in my adult life) and the program there, despite nominally supporting multiple pathways, relied entirely on the 12-Steps. I gave it an honest try, but I just knew it wasn't for me. A staff member told me about SMART, and it ticked most of the boxes, but my recovery toolkit didn't quite feel complete. I Googled "secular recovery" and discovered LifeRing. I found it to be more community- centric, and it just felt more warm and inviting. The Danes have a word ("hygge") which roughly translates to "coziness". It's used to describe a kind of homey comfort. And that's the first word that comes to mind when I think of LifeRing (don't ask me how it's pronounced, though).

Is this your first time convening a meeting, or do you already have another meeting going?

This is my first meeting! I actually took the SMART facilitator training with the intention of starting a meeting on that platform, but LifeRing kinda stole my heart over the past few months so I knew I wanted to do one here instead.

What gave you the idea to start this particular meeting? Do you have ADHD yourself?

I do. As soon as I learned that LifeRing has co-occurring meetings, I knew it had to be done. I think most people think of conditions like depression or PTSD in the context of co-occurring disorders, but there's a missed opportunity for the "ADHDer market". My mind was already made up, I just had to wait (eagerly) until I met the 6-months-sober rule for convening a meeting.

How ADHD has affected your life, and how are you handling it now in recovery?

ADHD has had a massive impact on my life. I wasn’t diagnosed until high school, so I spent most of my early years struggling and wondering what was “wrong” with me. A lot of people think of ADHD as this harmless, sort of quirky condition that just makes someone a little scatterbrained, but for me, it’s been absolutely devastating. I failed out of college, and that’s around the time I started drinking heavily to cope with the self-loathing that came with feeling like I was constantly falling short. It’s cost me job opportunities, relationships, and a lot of confidence along the way. The world really isn’t designed with ADHDers in mind. We’re held to the same standards at work, in school, and in social situations, so we often have to work twice as hard just to keep up. That can lead to burnout really quickly. Of course, everyone experiences it differently, but for me it’s been a long, difficult road.

Recovery has made a huge difference. I mean, the alcohol definitely wasn’t helping, and now I’m learning how to manage ADHD in healthier ways. People with ADHD have an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like planning, working memory, and impulse control) so I’ve been focusing on finding strategies to strengthen or supplement those areas. I’ve been reading a lot, experimenting with new tools, and figuring out what works for me.

Unfortunately, ADHD isn’t really something you can “talk therapy your way out of," but having the right tools makes a big difference. That’s part of why I wanted to start this meeting, to create a space where we can share those tools, learn from each other, and navigate a world that isn’t built for people who have to re-read the same page five times or tear the house apart looking for their car keys every other day (on a side note, thank goodness for remote work -- I can't tell you how many times I showed up late to the office for exactly that reason).

Do you feel that any of the issues you had with substance use prior to recovery has any direct tie to ADHD? Why or why not?

Absolutely. I drank as a way of coping with what I deemed to be my failures caused by my ADHD. The self-hatred and frustration that often come with the fallout of ADHD can be crippling.

I was prescribed stimulants, which worked miracles for my ADHD symptoms, but it also fueled my drinking (or at least it allowed me to drink a lot more. I mean, what else is there to do when you're the only one still awake at 3am on a Tuesday?). Once they started to become less effective I'd get prescribed more and more until I was maxed out, and even that wasn't enough. Then I drank even more to try to compensate for what I call the "dopamine deficit". It's a really insidious negative feedback loop. I definitely wouldn't place the blame squarely on my ADHD, but it certainly played a huge role in my alcohol use disorder.

What can people expect in this meeting?

There will be a big emphasis on sharing what works best for us, both in terms of overcoming our substance use and ADHD. I'd like for us to set small weekly goals and (gently) hold each other accountable (you know, like reading a page of a book or getting started on a project). We'll celebrate sobriety, complain about our ADHD pitfalls, and of course share some laughs about our more lighthearted ADHD experiences (like how I found myself staring into my freezer last week perplexed by the stick of pepperoni I had apparently placed in there the day prior). Note to self, pepperoni does not belong in the freezer.

Do you have any other information you'd like to share, or anything else you'd like to add? 

I'd love it if we all had our cameras on; I'm not making it a requirement, but I think that added personal touch is so important in recovery. At the same time, I don't want to scare away our camera shy participants, but my hope is that they'll quickly ease into it. This will of course be an exceedingly tolerant and non-judgmental forum where I want everyone to feel comfortable.

I also want to emphasize that you don't necessarily need a proper ADHD diagnosis to attend; I'm not looking at anyone's medical charts. If you suspect you have it, that's sufficient qualification.

Lastly, I just want to say that I'm so excited to start this journey with all of you beautiful Liferingers. See you on Sundays.