Thursday was Thanksgiving and my first real dinner party since beginning recovery. We’ve hosted parties for up to 20 people in a 400 square foot diving (dining/living) room, but yesterday was exclusively for besties and their loved ones.
This year, my friend’s husband came to our house drunk. Not quite passing-out drunk, but a little too animated for such a small space, which totally shattered our long-standing, hard-and-fast party rule: Don’t come drunk.
Annoying? You betcha. But it got me thinking. How many times did I imagine myself “the life of the party” when, in fact, I was the object of ridicule? How many party fouls did my friends forgive when I was too animated for any space? Time to pay it forward and forgive.
We are at the front end of the newly popularized “Season of Giving.” We give thanks. We give gifts. We give love and joy and (at least virtual) togetherness. The Season of Giving vs. Tax Season. Now that’s an easy choice!
But in giving there is also receiving. And for all the good you do, all the times you graciously decline a drink, all the presence and participation you bring, and for all the crooked smiles you offer a spirited friend – you should also give yourself a little credit.
Being kind to others is nice. Being kind to yourself is a gift. Accept it. Try it on and see how it feels. Check the mirror. Looks good on you, doesn’t it? Yeah, it does.
So drape yourself in forgiveness, and go forth into the holiday madness. Or stay at home and sit by the fire with a scorching hot mug of I Got This.