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Straight to Blackout
By Steve C. I remember when I was around 19 or 20, I almost beat the hell out of my girlfriend’s father. I broke a few dishes, yelled and screamed at him, and finally, after he called the cops, I split. After about a year of sneaking around behind his back with his daughter, he…
That “One Last Binge”
By Diane J. <Why do I keep thinking that I have a binge coming up? Why do I feel I deserve “one last binge”….? I’m actually looking forward to it. Not all the time but it does enter my mind occasionally. Yesterday was the worst so far. I was determined to get beer. On one…
Sobriety Has Its Own Momentum
By Diane J. <I’ve come to the realization that this alcoholism is something that will never go away. There will never be a day when I’ll “get better”.- M.> I’m glad you posted. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else either, absolutely not — but since you and I and others on this list seem…
Those Old Triggers
By Laura L. < I had a vision yesterday of a quiet afternoon in a quiet bar, relaxing and sipping a couple of vodka tonics and flipping through a magazine with the television going quietly in the background and occasionally chatting with the bartender. – D. > Yeah, sitting around at Borders bookstore with a…
Proud to Say It
By Marianne H. There is absolutely no shame in being a sober alcoholic. On the contrary, it’s something to be very, very proud of. At first I, too, didn’t want to tell anybody. Looking back, I think it was because I was afraid that if others knew that *I* knew I was alcoholic, I would…
I Recognize My Mind Games
By Steve C. I was about 9 months sober, in June of 1998, when my Dad moved in with my family because of his Lou Gehrig’s disease progression. He drinks nothing without alcohol in it, which means I keep it around the house now. He can’t move his hands, can’t walk, and is beginning to…
365 Attaboys
by Steve C. Posting to “fish for attaboys” on his first sobriety anniversary, Steve recites a long list of things he hasn’t experienced for 365 days — no traffic tickets, no meaningless apologies, no rages at the family, no mysterious ATM withdrawal slips … Steve out of San Jose, the consummate lurker here. I just…
You Are Not a Failure
By De W. Personal experience … Sober 10 years, thought it would be absolutely no problem. Put myself in a very challenging situation, lapsed for 2 years while in that situation. Got my self out (actually not by choice, but it worked out) and now have 2 years again. What didn’t work for me was…